YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DECIDE IF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU WILL LEAVE A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE IMPRINT WITHIN YOU
Waking up in my bed this morning I felt a bit weird. Like a little out of it. I had slept maybe 10-12 hours. Lying in bed I remembered the anxiety I had in the evening. Wow this feels like a dream. I sat down in bed and thought what am I going to do. I remember us talking about heading back down. I remember Sandesh words: ‘You cannot do this Val, we have to go back down’.
I was founding myself at 4410 meters in the Himalaya’s and I had two choices. Either I could go back down and accept that I was not ready yet for this hike or keep going up. I felt that whatever I decided it did not matter that much. I smiled and shook my head slowly from left to right. This life is crazy sometimes! I smiled thinking that I made it. I already made it to the top of my ‘own personal mountain’ I thought. I had face one of my biggest fear. My biggest fear was to have an anxiety attack during this trip and it had happened and I had ‘survived it’.. It was chaotic and not great but hey I did it. My smile got wider as I realize I had faced my biggest fear. I instinctively looked up and thought nothing can stop me now. I felt like doing a ‘wink’ to which ever God or Energy that was looking at me right now. Well played I thought!
Sometimes in life it's not about what you want but it's about what you need
I had just overcome one of my biggest fear and felt pretty good about it. But I had gain enough wisdom and experience in my life to know that this feeling may be temporary and to not take anything for granted.
Sandesh had concerns for me last night and had mention going back down. Today was an acclimitization day so we were suppose to stay at the same hotel and do a small hike during the day. I thought we could hang out here and see how the day goes. The moment I saw Sandesh in the morning nothing was said about last night. I was feeling strong about what had happened but I was also feeling cautious. I’m sure Sandesh could feel it therefore no words needed to be spoken. We had breakfast like if it was a normal morning. I said want to go hike up and he smiled back and said yes let’s do it. Sandesh did what people out here in Nepal do best (and what is a big lesson for me being in this country): he was GOING WITH THE FLOW.
Now let’s start hiking!
The more I am hiking the lighter I was feeling.
I ADORE THIS MAN. This experience last night for sure brought us closer.
You just never know who will help you and when they may help you. You just never know… I feel like I am starting to hike with a good friend. One of those friend that keeps things SIMPLE and goes WITH THE FLOW without even trying. You know… one of those authentic people who are just born taking it easy!
When Nepal and Canada bound on the hill ! No ego just happy to be hiking up one more day!
PHOTO TIME ! ! !
Warrior pose! Not easy on that rock and with my boots but who cares! Feeling like a warrior after making it through last night!
Love this humble man! #Nepal
Time for a meditation on one of the most beautiful place on earth!
This video is in French
Not long after finishing my meditation the clouds started coming.
Yesterday those same clouds had caused me anxiety but now I was seeing them with a new perspective. I was above them and not feeling trap under them. I was not at their mercy anymore. I had gain control. I had gain confidence. I felt like I was standign tall above them. Moreover I felt that which ever clouds come into your life, like if they represent the darkness that comes in your life, remember that they are always temporary and above those clouds sits a beautiful shinny sun! Always! Even if sometimes you don’t see the sun know that it is always there. That the light above the darkness is always there.
I was feeling strong. I was feeling connected. To nature. To myself.
All of a sudden I understood.
I understood what had happen last night. I had a spiritual crisis. I don’t even know if that is a term but that’s exactly how it felt. I had some before. It’s like a moment where you finish a cycle. You are done with a certain vibration and are entering a new one.
Everything suddenly became clear.
That was why I had so many things running through my mind. I had anxiety before but yesterday was another level. So many emotions, events, images were coming to my mind like in a fast forward movie with no real connection between one to another. I had felt like if I was in a fast train going through all these experiences and stuck on the ride until I had felt what I had to feel and what I had to go through. Accepting the lack of control. I had felt that things, that I thought were resolved, part of them were actually well hidden but yesterday during that crisis they were all coming up to my mind. Things had came up to the surface and were felt in order to be liberated. But today there I was feeling. Feeling at peace with my past. At peace with myself. I felt calm and ready to hike some more.
With a big smile on my face I felt so grateful. This place was special. The energy of these gigantic mountains; Nepal is a healing place. I had talked with people who had came here before and I am not saying everyone will go through this but everyone I know who came here received a life lesson for their own journey. It may not happen to the top of the mountain but a lesson will come. It’s not about the destination remember? I was at day 6 and I felt on top of my own mountain! I felt so proud of myself. I felt so happy. I wanted to learn to trust myself again on this trip to Nepal. And I did… just not the way I expected things to go for me to learn this!
LIFE WILL TEACH YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO LEARN. IT MAY JUST NOT COME IN WAYS THAT YOU EXPECTED IT TO HAPPEN.
Walking down the hill I join my new ‘hiking friends’ for some food and a well deserve local masala tea!
That’s ironic. Day 6 was an acclimitization day so I finish my day exactly where I started it. The same elevation. The same bed. But I am not the same person. So much has happen in 24 hours!
So let’s finish this post the exact same way I started it;